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Ok, so stop me if you’ve heard this one.  A Therapist, a Life Coach and a Human Resources Professional walked into a restaurant…wait, what?  You’ve heard that one?  Well, what about this…

Motivational speaker Jim Rohn once said that “we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with”.  Now, I know that we’ve all probably heard this one in one form or another, but have we ever really given this idea serious thought?  When it comes to our relationships, we are influenced, like it or not, by the people we surround ourselves with.  And this is everything, our thinking, the decisions that we make, even the way that we feel about ourselves.

But, I’ve also learned that this average should include the people who spend time in our mind whether it is the coworker who steals our ideas during every single team meeting or the ex who just doesn’t seem to understand what “it’s over” means.  All of these people, like it or not, influence us in one way or another.

But wait, there’s more!   It doesn’t stop there, social media has opened this influence on a whole new level as we are influenced by people we’ve never even met – entertainers, politicians, podcasters and the like – and their influence changes our perception and our stories.

These people, in one form or another, become a part of our “stories” and while it is ideal to be surrounded by positive people who bring you up and have your back, there will be detractors and distractors.  The key is knowing where to put them.

As Research Professor and Ted Talk Phenomenon Brene Brown says “we share with people who’ve earned the right to hear our stories”. We get to decide!  These detractors and distractors haven’t earned the right to take up this space, to be a part of our stories so we must feel free to revoke their privilege.  Refuse to let this space be inhabited free of charge when it would be more beneficial to us to fill this space with people and things that help rather than hinder us.

Let’s not give them more space than they deserve. Choose wisely.

Who’s Your Ride or Die?

So, who is in your “ride or die” community?  Ralph Waldo Emerson said that “It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.”  Your community of “ride or die”, are they appeasers and enablers? Are they confidantes who support you no matter what?  Or is your squad a group of trusted friends who refuse to allow you to do this disservice to yourself, are they ready and able to keep help you to remain authentic and true to yourself?

My community, my “ride or die” – the Therapist and the HR Professional – I like to think of us as a squad of Super Friends, knowing that together, if we really put our minds to it, we could probably rule the world, well, at least our little corner of it anyway. This is my posse who knows my story, who understands where I’m coming from and where I want to go, they understand my “flights of fancy” and know when to reel me in for my own good. Most of all, they love me and keep me around even when I’m being a little bit of a knucklehead.  That’s my “ride or die”.

Choose this weekend who occupies your space both in your mind and in your heart.

That’s all for now!  Have a great weekend! Go out there and disrupt something!

Trudi Lunnie-Thomas, BA, MA is a Life and Executive Coach for Woman on Fire Coaching and Consulting and Host of the Woman On Fire Radio. Her goal is to help her clients to disrupt the patterns established as part of their Status Quo, the habits, and limitations that control every part of their lives so that they can reclaim who they really are and how to live their lives to the fullest.  To continue the conversation, please come over to my blog at www.thearena.online. Thank you and go out and disrupt your Status Quo!