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A very wise woman once said, “At first, I was afraid, I was petrified, kept thinking I could never live without you by my side, But then I spent so many nights thinking how you did me wrong and I grew strong, and I learned how to get along…”
No, no, no! Before you head for the exits, I am not going to sing, I don’t think anybody is ready for that! Rather, as I quote the great Gloria Gaynor, vocalist of the ultimate revenge song, “I Will Survive”, I find myself thinking about things gained, things once held dear, and things lost, whether this is people, possessions, jobs and the like. Gloria speaks of loss and having grown stronger after losing something that she’d lost.
But there was one line that had always bugged me even as a young(er) disrupter. My heroine, Gloria, grew strong and learned how to get along. Even then, as I bebopped along with this song, even as I sang the song in karaoke many, many times, this line drove me crazy even then.
The feisty young disrupter that I was had bristled – yes bristled – at the suggestion: Get along? With who and with what? And why?
“Oh no, not I!” Gloria intoned to a funky beat. “I will survive,” she promised. This is the part where my record – for those of you who are old enough to remember records! – would mentally come to a screeching halt.
I will survive? Wait, what?
When life throws you a curveball – or worse yet, hits you right between the eyes with the ball, I wanted to think that I would do a little more than just survive to trudge from one situation to the next. I didn’t want to simply survive to fight another day.
My good friend Webster defines Survive as continuing to live or exist, especially in spite of danger or hardship. In other words, to live, to remain in existence, to get up from the zinger and live to fight another day, to dodge another curveball.
Survival almost seems to require that we hang on to the memory of the situation that brought us down in the first place, turning back to look at it to gauge how far we’ve come as we recalled how we’ve escaped the heartbreak or disappointment or job loss thinking “whew! I made it through all of that craziness! Alive!”
As I lived a little longer and yes, survived a lot more disappointments, I realized that yes, survival was key, that it was necessary to pull myself up onto my feet more often and dust myself off. But I didn’t want to just get along. I wanted more. I wanted better. I didn’t want to just survive, I wanted to move past the situation. I wanted to thrive.
Thrive has been defined as to grow vigorously, to flourish, to gain in wealth or possessions and to prosper. It means to progress toward or realize a goal despite or because of circumstances. In disrupter speak, thriving meant that not only am I making it, I am killing it. I am learning and growing. I am taking the lesson, I am learning it and I am moving on.
Life as a disrupter is more than getting along, it is both surviving and thriving. You are so much stronger than that! You are no mere survivor, Disrupter. Instead of starting each day with “Oh God! It’s morning, you start each day with “Oh Good! It’s Morning.” Life isn’t just happening to you, you are going out making it happen. You are looking under the rocks that threaten to trip you and knock you down, you are jumping over every barrier and kicking life’s booty every time she comes your way with that darn curveball. You are a disrupter, you thrive.
Granted, “I will thrive” may not be as catchy as “I will survive”, but I think that with a little more practice, your new lyrics will prove to be just as enduring. So cue the music and dance!
Thank you, Gloria!
Trudi Lunnie-Thomas, BA, MA is a Life and Executive Coach for Woman on Fire Coaching and Consulting and Host of the Woman On Fire Radio. Her goal is to help her clients to disrupt the patterns established as part of their Status Quo, the habits, and limitations that control every part of their lives so that they can reclaim who they really are and how to live their lives to the fullest. To continue the conversation, please come over to my blog at www.thearena.online. Thank you and go out and disrupt your Status Quo!
